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I can't talk to women or find that you date

I haven't had a break up for 22 years (style: Getty)Sign up to FREE email alerts from Mirror daily newsSubscribeWe will use your email address to send you newsletters. Please see ourPrivacy Noticefor more information on how we use your data and your data protection rights.

thanks for subscribingWe have more newslettersShow meSee ourprivacy noticeDear Coleen I'm a 54 year old man and I've only ever had one girlfriend. We were together for three and a half years until _a href= sign up_/a_ she finished with me 22 years ago. other than that, I have not had any form of relationship.

I've always found it extremely difficult to speak to anyone, Let alone to a lady I'm interested in. I can now speak to people on a professional level, something like in a shop or in work, But am still having problems on a personal level. I have to plan what i am going to say and think about how someone might respond.

yr after, I spoke to a lady in the work canteen, Just to ask if she wanted to go first in the queue. instead of just thanking me, She tried to make discussion. I was not expecting this and basically froze until she moved away!

It doesn't help that I don't do small talk, Even with people I've known for quit some time.

I've joined a number of online dating sites, Both free and procured, But it's never come to anything. I've verbal to my GP, But I'm just taken anti depressants.

And when I speak to friends they say areas like "could not help. You have to do it on their own" or "Grow manboobs,

my family is sympathetic, But no help in any respect.

I honestly thought what else to do.

Coleen says You are thinking far too deeply about it all and are too enclosed in worrying about saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing, Rather than simply reacting in the moment.

you'll to stop seeing every woman you talk to as a potential relationship. Maybe it's just a call, Or enable you to strike up a friendship.

The best way to get better at small talk and handling social situations is to push yourself out of your comfort zone and practise it in real life. And maybe that's where your friends can be useful if you're out in a crowd and you dry up, They can jump in and keep the contact going.

I'm also a fan of self help books. There are lots of good ones out there which enables you to with self esteem and motivation. Anti depressants could help if you're depressed, But not if you're just experiencing struggles on a social level. Medication won't make you confident or a wonderful conversationalist.

Twenty two years is a long time to go without a matrimony and, in addition to, that is going to knock your confidence. So accept that fact but don't have a hard time because of it. We've all been in love and we've all had our hearts broken finally.
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